My Greatest Weakness Becomes My Greatest Strength

The Hebrew word carries with it the meaning that darkness or calamity seemed to have covered or enveloped his soul. This is a place I am familiar with; a place where my soul seems covered or enveloped by darkness. Sometimes it is a series of calamities that overwhelm me. Things begin piling up on me till I begin to feel smothered. But not always. There have also simply been times when sorrow eclipses joy without warning and without a visible cause. This smothering darkness causes me to cry out with the psalmist, “From the ends of the earth I call to you, I call as my heart grows faint; lead me to the rock that is higher than I.” (Psa. 61:2 NIV)

When I am in this place where my soul has been enveloped by sorrow, I need help. To whom do I go for help? I confess I have sometime gone to idols of my own making, thinking they might give me comfort. But they have only taken me deeper into grief and further from the source of light. I reached out to others and found some measure of relief; but I have also taken them by the hand and drawn them down with me.

What I have found is that I need someone who is stronger than I am, who is willing to come to my rescue. I can’t find my way to them; I can only call out for help. But help comes. I call as my heart grows faint, and my Savior comes and leads me to a rock that is higher than I. “The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; My God is my rock, in whom I take refuge. He is my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.” (Psa. 18:2 NIV)

From my earliest memories I have battled with a downcast soul, but I don’t see it as a disability but as a door that leads me to God’s presence. My weakness and inclination toward depression has taught me to cry out. Just as the darkness threatens to overtake me I cry out, and find coming toward me is the Savior who said, “I will never leave you or forsake you.” The eyes of my spirit are opened and I experience a joy that far exceeds the sorrow.

Lord Jesus, because You are my Savior, my greatest weakness has become a place of strength, my greatest sorrow a place of joy. You told Moses, “There is a place near me where you may stand on a rock.” (Ex. 33:21) Lord Jesus, You are the Rock on which I stand – near to the heart of God.